This past week has been one of those weeks I would've preferred to sleep through. It was as if life had read my previous entry, wasn’t too fond of the whole making life our bitch thing and decided to go for some full-on role reversal.
I've had my ass handed to me so much this last week at work, I felt the Trump had it light at his roast. Between the stress and the existential crisis brought on by this being my last week as a 26 yr. old, I started to wonder, what’s the point?
I don't know how many times I justify putting off things or losing a grip on reality by blaming it on my job. I work in one of the most sacrificed, unrewarding and ungrateful industries ever (kudos to me on the excellent career choice…) and yet, there's some sort of je ne sais quois in it that seems to keep me coming back for more. Could it be my job's become my Mr. Big???
I mean, I do love my job (there’s really no other logical explanation as to why I keep doing it) but I think there comes a point in which our job becomes a crutch for our lack of balls when it comes to putting ourselves out there. We aim for a happy medium of shooting for what we really want on the side without endangering what we actually have and end up not having the time to fulfill either part satisfactory. I guess it comes down to priorities and figuring out how to figure them out. Am I letting my career consume me or do sacrifices have to be done now in order to reap rewards later on? Which weighs more: happiness or financial stability? In what things should we go the extra mile and in which do we barely meet the minimum requirements? What's the right choice? I mean, there should be a balance, but is it possible?
When I take a moment to look around, I can’t think of a moment that makes me happier than being with my hubs and our bulldog doing absolutely nothing but taking in the day. It’s scary to think we can become so consumed with things in the long haul, we lose sight of what’s actually happening on our way there.
The future’s certainly unpredictable (except for child stars, we all know where those are headed…), so why spend the present holding back on what really drives us? We have to let go of fears holding us back and go for whatever IT may be, while taking the time to appreciate that sometimes we actually get the reward upfront and the journey’s just a chance to enjoy it.
Closing thoughts: As icing on the shitcake also known as this past week, (cue royal fanfare) I fell at work. And I mean all-out, ass-to-the-ground, no-recollection-of-how-it-happened, objects-flying, black-and-blue-bruising-the-day-after-type-fall. This could just be due to my astounding lack of coordination or maybe, just maybe (and I’m silver-lining here), it’s a sign. A not-so-subtle shove to let me know I'll never get anywhere if I don’t take a leap out of my comfort zone, bruised bum and all.